For as long as I remember, I’ve seen people calling their relatives, their beloved ones and people they care about, out of random. For some reason, I have never been that guy. I don’t make phone calls when I think of someone, or text them. When I think of them, I think about how much important they are to me, and I cherish the memories with them, I cherish their existence in my life. But I don’t see a reason to call them up immediately.
Fundamentally, I am a weird person. I live in the moment. That means for that moment, where I am – all that is in my head is either what’s happening in that very room, or if I am in a chain of thoughts, than only about those thoughts. When those thoughts begin, it’s usually in a particular direction and I don’t get lost – ever. I always take it to the extreme end.
To give an example of how I start thinking, when I am writing this article, if I reduce my focus from typing a bit, then my focus goes to my fingers moving. I automatically start loosing focus from my writing and start making mistakes. I’ll not be correcting the mistakes from next paragraphs, so that you can understand that I, as a person who rarely uses backspace key – starts to loose focus.
When I focus upon how my figners aare moving, i start feeling teh hardness of the keys. I start going into the chain of thought sa about the colour of the keyboard, about how th elight must be bloding behind it. I start feeling the meaning of the quality that apple says it offers. i start seeing the clarity and the amount of the work that must have gone into it’s creation. I see how the plastic woul dhave ben crafted. I start seeing how the paint would be arranged for. I start think9nig about how the design would have ben finalised. Basically, I see the whole journey of this keyboard, then this machine and so on. That’s how I live in the moment.
At any point, I am always either in some chain of thoughts that’s leading to something that I see around me -when I applaud the creations, the nature, the beauty. Or if I am not in those thoughts, than I am thinking about how different things can happen – can be brought to existence. Or otherwise I am absolutely present in the moment, noticing every move around, everthing around – before I lost in one of those things.
Because of this, I rarely think of other people. That only happens when my brain takes me to thoughts about myself. That’s when I think of the people who I care for and that’s when I do give them a call. but most times, I am actually not even thinking about myself – the world is so beautiful and I just can’t have enough of it’s beauty.
I am an explorer, I am a wanderer. My focus keeps going into things, throughly deeply to the point of origin. And there are so many things to learn, to think about – so I keep thinking about the “why” and “why” and WHY?
I guess when I would have been young and were asking too many why’s, someone answered all of them – because of which it’s my tendency to keep asking those whys from myself and answering them. So I go about “Why does it look like this” and then I answer it to. myself with another why “Why does it has to be this way” and so on.
Those people that I love – if I am present in that moment with one – than I absolutely love them. If I come out of my paradise – my chain of thoughts for someone and if I so much as walk for them – I absolutely love them otherwise I would never do it for anyone. That’s how lazy I am – or call it my love for day-dreaming!
That’s just the person that I am. It may be a psychological illness, but that’s that. I may love you but will never call you up myself, won’t think about my life without you because I dont think there is – that thought, frankly, hurts and who wants to get hurt – so why think about it at all? I have complete control on my own brain in that regard – I don’t think of things that could hurt me – the thoughts which could hurt me. I’ve managed to block them all off, as don’t want to think about it.
That’s me and that’s my imperfection. I always live in the moment.